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6 Sad Stocks That Should Shear Their CEOs

Study says baldness can give you a leg up in business

Jeff Bezos Amazon The Wall Street Journal recently ran an article that is creating some (literal) buzz about corporate heads.

According to the WSJ, a new study shows that baldness actually is an advantage in the business world — it creates the perception of dominance, masculinity and can make age harder to pin down.

Don’t believe those are good things? Just look at Amazon (NASDAQ:AMZN) CEO Jeffrey Bezos. His bare head might not be the envy of Wall Street, but his booming stock sure is.

The perception isn’t just good news for the baldies, though; it’s also a simple (and cost-efficient) solution for companies that need a new direction. With just a pair of clippers, these six struggling companies can give their leaders makeovers for success:

Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook

Marky Mark and his pride and joy Facebook (NASDAQ:FB) are two of the most famous names on this list thanks to the movie The Social Network — and the fact that just about everyone has a profile, from high schoolers to Grandma.

Unfortunately, they also are infamous on Wall Street thanks to Facebook’s not-so-successful IPO earlier this year, and the nearly 50% loss the stock has suffered since.

Zuck has been vocal about his plans to get things back on track recently, but you know what they say: Bald speaks louder than words.

Meg Whitman, Hewlett-Packard

So the study was a little gender-focused, only discussing the impact of men being bald. But at this point, Hewlett-Packard (NYSE:HPQ) can use all the help it can get.

Meg Whitman has made it a year with Hewlett-Packard, but the company’s fortunes have far from turned around. Whitman even had to plead for patience recently, much to the disappointment of HPQ investors.

So forget a new tablet, smartphone or cloud computing; let’s start with a haircut, and maybe we can finally stop Hewlett-Packard’s revolving door of CEOs for good.

Ron Johnson, J.C. Penney

Enough with remodeling your stores, Ron — just remodel yourself!

Johnson gave his best song and dance, but J.C. Penney (NYSE:JCP) customers still didn’t believe him when he claimed they didn’t need sales. Unfortunately, nature — and a comb-over — already was set against him.

The store is giving out free haircuts to kids in an attempt to fuel a turnaround — why not have Johnson plop down in the barber’s stool and take one for the stock?

Michael Jeffries, Abercrombie & Fitch

Michael Jeffries’ spiky blond ‘do might be in tune with the style of Abercrombie & Fitch‘s (NYSE:ANF) torn jeans and scantily clad models, but both seem so five years ago.

In a profile in Salon, Jeffries was asked why he dyed his hair and replied: “Dude, I’m not an old fart who wears his jeans up at his shoulders.”

Had he only shaved his head, he could’ve responded to a similar question with “Dude, ’cause our stock is, like, totally killin’ it.”

Thorsten Heins, Research in Motion

Research In Motion‘s (NASDAQ:RIMM) BlackBerry technology is out of date — but it’s still light-years ahead of Thorsten Heins’ cut.

Sure, the head honchos at Apple (NASDAQ:AAPL) and Samsung are doing great with a full head of hair, but beggars can’t be choosers.

The best thing Heins could do for his company is inspire a new generation of slick gadgets — and what better way to do that than go sleek and aerodynamic yourself?

Angie Hicks, Angie’s List

OK, Angie Hicks isn’t actually the CEO of Angie’s List (NASDAQ:ANGI), but she is the founder (duh), chief marketing officer and the upbeat face of the company.

In fact, I’m fairly sure of two things: That you’ve seen her lovely smile on your TV … and that her commercial would be much more memorable if she donned the Mr. Clean look.

The company has been public for around a year and has seen its stock shed 35% of its value in that time. Angie’s List is a great idea — it just needs a little bald branding.

As of this writing, Alyssa Oursler did not hold a position in any of the aforementioned securities.

Article printed from InvestorPlace Media,

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