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6 Sad Stocks That Should Shear Their CEOs

Study says baldness can give you a leg up in business

By Alyssa Oursler, InvestorPlace Contributor

Jeff Bezos Amazon The Wall Street Journal recently ran an article that is creating some (literal) buzz about corporate heads.

According to the WSJ, a new study shows that baldness actually is an advantage in the business world — it creates the perception of dominance, masculinity and can make age harder to pin down.

Don’t believe those are good things? Just look at Amazon (NASDAQ:AMZN) CEO Jeffrey Bezos. His bare head might not be the envy of Wall Street, but his booming stock sure is.

The perception isn’t just good news for the baldies, though; it’s also a simple (and cost-efficient) solution for companies that need a new direction. With just a pair of clippers, these six struggling companies can give their leaders makeovers for success:

Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook

Marky Mark and his pride and joy Facebook (NASDAQ:FB) are two of the most famous names on this list thanks to the movie The Social Network — and the fact that just about everyone has a profile, from high schoolers to Grandma.

Unfortunately, they also are infamous on Wall Street thanks to Facebook’s not-so-successful IPO earlier this year, and the nearly 50% loss the stock has suffered since.

Zuck has been vocal about his plans to get things back on track recently, but you know what they say: Bald speaks louder than words.

Meg Whitman, Hewlett-Packard

So the study was a little gender-focused, only discussing the impact of men being bald. But at this point, Hewlett-Packard (NYSE:HPQ) can use all the help it can get.

Meg Whitman has made it a year with Hewlett-Packard, but the company’s fortunes have far from turned around. Whitman even had to plead for patience recently, much to the disappointment of HPQ investors.

So forget a new tablet, smartphone or cloud computing; let’s start with a haircut, and maybe we can finally stop Hewlett-Packard’s revolving door of CEOs for good.

Ron Johnson, J.C. Penney

Enough with remodeling your stores, Ron — just remodel yourself!

Johnson gave his best song and dance, but J.C. Penney (NYSE:JCP) customers still didn’t believe him when he claimed they didn’t need sales. Unfortunately, nature — and a comb-over — already was set against him.

The store is giving out free haircuts to kids in an attempt to fuel a turnaround — why not have Johnson plop down in the barber’s stool and take one for the stock?

Michael Jeffries, Abercrombie & Fitch

Michael Jeffries’ spiky blond ‘do might be in tune with the style of Abercrombie & Fitch‘s (NYSE:ANF) torn jeans and scantily clad models, but both seem so five years ago.

In a profile in Salon, Jeffries was asked why he dyed his hair and replied: “Dude, I’m not an old fart who wears his jeans up at his shoulders.”

Had he only shaved his head, he could’ve responded to a similar question with “Dude, ’cause our stock is, like, totally killin’ it.”

Thorsten Heins, Research in Motion

Research In Motion‘s (NASDAQ:RIMM) BlackBerry technology is out of date — but it’s still light-years ahead of Thorsten Heins’ cut.

Sure, the head honchos at Apple (NASDAQ:AAPL) and Samsung are doing great with a full head of hair, but beggars can’t be choosers.

The best thing Heins could do for his company is inspire a new generation of slick gadgets — and what better way to do that than go sleek and aerodynamic yourself?

Angie Hicks, Angie’s List

OK, Angie Hicks isn’t actually the CEO of Angie’s List (NASDAQ:ANGI), but she is the founder (duh), chief marketing officer and the upbeat face of the company.

In fact, I’m fairly sure of two things: That you’ve seen her lovely smile on your TV … and that her commercial would be much more memorable if she donned the Mr. Clean look.

The company has been public for around a year and has seen its stock shed 35% of its value in that time. Angie’s List is a great idea — it just needs a little bald branding.

As of this writing, Alyssa Oursler did not hold a position in any of the aforementioned securities.

Article printed from InvestorPlace Media,

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