Stocks to Buy Before the Zombie Apocalypse

I’m not much of a reality TV show guy, but even the casual cable watcher knows that “Doomsday” is the new network buzz word. In fact, there are two new shows featuring the word — National Geographic Channel’s Doomsday Preppers, and Discovery Channel’s Doomsday Bunkers.

The common theme running through both shows is the depiction of survival types who are preparing themselves for one or more calamitous events that will cause the end of the world as we know it.

For these so-called “preppers,” this doesn’t literally mean the end of the world, but more like the end of civil society and the conveniences we all take for granted. This means the suspension of the power grid for a protracted period, the lack of availability of fresh food and potable water, and a breakdown of law and order, as well as the social constructs we all rely on to keep civilization intact. In fact, the lack of law, order and moral behavior is thought to be capable of turning regular people into “zombies.” Not in the technically reanimated, undead sense, but in the rabid transformation of normal folk willing to plunder and pillage just to survive another day.

Now, all this might seem a bit odd to the average person, but the doomsday prepper community is indeed for real. And growing. A decade ago there were a few hundred thousand preppers. Today, that number is estimated to be near 3 million.

Well, I consider myself a prepper as well — a profit prepper.

This means I like to prepare my portfolio to take advantage of trends in society that are liable to make investors money. With that in mind, here are few stocks I want to own before the zombie apocalypse causes the end of the world as we know it.

First, I know that if zombies began knocking at my door, I want to be well-armed, because I’m going to shoot first and ask questions later. That means owning firearms made by Smith & Wesson (NASDAQ:SWHC) and Sturm, Ruger & Co. (NYSE:RGR).

Of course, I will have to buy these weapons somewhere, and what better place to do so than the outdoor superstore Cabela’s (NYSE:CAB)? This retailer is a veritable one-stop shop for a lot of the gear you’ll need to survive a doomsday scenario. In addition to firearms of nearly every variety, the retailer also sells ammunition, hunting gear, fishing gear, camping equipment, knives, and first-aid and survival kits.

Now, when it comes to cuisine, you’ll have to make sure your bunker is well stocked. There’s no telling when you’ll be able to hit the local supermarket, and certainly a trip to McDonald’s (NYSE:MCD) or Starbucks (NASDAQ:SBUX) will be out of the question. That means you’ll want plenty of non-perishable foods such as those made by Campbell Soup (NYSE:CPB) and Kraft Foods (NYSE:KFT). Like my momma used to say, there’s nothing like a good bowl of tomato soup and a hearty plate of mac n’ cheese to make those zombie blues go away.

But before you grab the guns and jump into a bunker, you’re going to have to build one. That means multiple trips to stores like Home Depot (NYSE:HD) and Lowe’s (NYSE:LOW). Hey, if the zombie apocalypse lasts for months on end, you’ll want to make sure your facility has all of the conveniences of a modern home — and that’s just the stuff these two stalwart home improvement retailers sell.

So, what about after doomsday? Well, we’ll have to cultivate new crops to feed a new generation, and that means making sure we have plenty of seeds to plant — Monsanto (NYSE:MON) can take care of that.

Of course, in the event of mass casualties, the world will need to repopulate to make that new generation. And the preppers most ready for that task will want drugs like Pfizer’s (NYSE:PFE) Viagra.

As of this writing, Jim Woods did not hold a position in any of the aforementioned securities. He does, however, own several firearms — and he’s not afraid to use them!

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