Happy weekend, folks. If you’re tired of reading about everyone else’s successes, just remember that even the top penny stocks have their dog days.
So, here’s my Craigslist Tomslist report on some of the best penny stock stories this week.
From copied websites to bad movies, these five names could use a little bit of investor love:
- Oriental Culture Holding (NASDAQ:OCG)
- Support.com (NASDAQ:SPRT)
- Dolphin Entertainment (NASDAQ:DLPN)
- Zomedica Corp (NYSEAMERICAN:ZOM)
- Sundial Growers (NASDAQ:SNDL)
Top Penny Stocks of the Week: Oriental Culture Holding (OCG)
Looking for: New Web Developer
When an NFT (non-fungible token) of a fart sold for $85 last week, we knew we were onto something big. We’re already (supposedly) a large online marketplace for collectibles and artwork. Moving to NFTs is the next logical step, according to investors who sent our shares from $3 to $10 this month.
There’s just one problem: Our website is a copy-paste of our competitor’s.
We always thought our web developer seemed fishy. But it took us until this week to realize that our site is a replica of Takung Art (NYSEAMERICAN:TKAT), a competing auctioneer from down the street. The folks we hired didn’t even bother to change out the home page pictures (though at least they had the decency to put in the right management team).
We’re looking to hire someone to update our site and make the problem go away. We’re supposed to be an online trading forum, not some fly-by-night company operating out of our garage.
Or perhaps our website is correct. Maybe we only did have 45 items listed for all of 2019. If that’s the case, we’re also looking to hire a good Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) lawyer too.
Selling Services: Merger Advice
Most people know us as a sleepy customer service company based in Sunnyvale, CA. But if you’re a CEO with angry shareholders breathing down your neck, look no further than our latest product, the Dogecoinator 3000.
By creating a positive press stream, the Dogecoinator 3000 allows your company to merge with an unrelated blockchain business without much outside shareholder approval. And because cryptocurrency is so hot, your minority shareholders won’t even stay mad after seeing their breathtaking stock returns.
Want proof? Like any good inventor, we tested the product on ourselves. The effects were just as expected.
Thanks to the Dogecoinator 3000, we’re now merging with Greenidge Generation Holdings, a Bitcoin (CCC:BTC-USD) mining operation based in upstate New York. It doesn’t matter that our shareholders will only own 8% of the final merger — our stock popped 300% the day we announced the deal.
You, too, can participate in the crypto mania of 2021. Call us today for your free guide. But hurry, supplies won’t last forever!
Dolphin Entertainment (DLPN)
Now Hiring: Meme Curator
Hi all — we’re hiring an NFT consultant to help dig us out of the situation our lovely CEO put us in.
On Tuesday, we made a surprise announcement that we’ll be launching an NFT creation and marketing division. On the surface, that makes a great deal of sense — our team has produced cringeworthy entertainment hits for years. From the 1.7-star-rated Justin Bieber’s Believe music documentary to the 1.8-star movie Ocean Ave, we’re no stranger to creating content that’s so terrible that you can’t look away. (By the way, those scores are out of 10).
NFTs are the next logical step. With speculators collecting these digital beanie babies without regard for price, it’s a business that’s ripe for the taking.
Our Meme Curator won’t start from scratch — we already have an agreement with Hall of Fame Resort & Entertainment (NASDAQ:HOFV) to produce NFTs for professional sports. And our PR and marketing departments (joking aside) are pretty good. But they’ll need to work fast to dethrone the NBA at their own game. Our annual financial losses demand it.
Zomedica Corp (ZOM)
Discussion Forum: I’m Not Fond of NFTs
Does anyone else ever feel that NFTs and crypto are taking over Tomslist these days? Everyone speculating on the next Doggy coin or whatever GIF it spawns out of its tailpipe.
And here we are, launching pet diagnostic tool TRUFORMA without an ounce of free publicity. Not only will our product help veterinarians do on-site testing for thyroid and other critical functions. But also it’s the catalyst that could turn our pre-revenue firm into a multi-billion-dollar enterprise. We’ve been trying to tell investors for months — one of our directors even bought over half a million shares last August.
But why aren’t more people interested? We’ve already bumped our stock prices from less than 7 cents in October to $1.75 today. That director’s $100,000 investment almost reached $2 million last month. Maybe if we painted a Shiba Inu on our TRUFORMA machines and made it mine Bitcoin, people would pay more attention.
Sundial Growers (SNDL)
Missed Connection: Chuck Schumer’s Marijuana Legalization
We briefly met eyes in late January. I was an unprofitable marijuana grower in a fully saturated Canadian market. You were U.S. marijuana legalization — the shining star promised by Senate majority leader Chuck Schumer.
Everyone around us thought we would make the perfect couple. Shareholders sent my stock from 14 cents to almost $4 by February, making me (and a lot of Reddit investor fans) very, very wealthy.
But then you vanished. You disappeared like a politician’s promise the day after a fundraising campaign ends.
Now I don’t know what to do without you. Canada’s marijuana market is so saturated that I had to toss out almost six months of production last year. And Mexico’s legalization will benefit the local players there, not some foreign Canadian import. With my stock price flirting with the dreaded $1 level from years of share dilution, it’s not long before I might get delisted. Please, Marijuana Legalization. I need to find you again.
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On the date of publication, Tom Yeung did not have (either directly or indirectly) any positions in the securities mentioned in this article.
Tom Yeung, CFA, is a registered investment advisor on a mission to bring simplicity to the world of investing.